


Three's a Crowd

by Zinfandel



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Choking, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Shower Sex, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, sort of, sort of!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:10:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinfandel/pseuds/Zinfandel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for the tumblr prompt: Doublemint Oreo prompt: in the shower awkwardness because how the hell do you even fit three people in the shower?</p><p>Jack has a plan. Divide, Seduce, Conquer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three's a Crowd

**Author's Note:**

> LOL THE TITLE THO! i'm a nerd. i get it. hah.
> 
> this is pretty much just shenanigans, though a lot sexier than i have ever been when i mention shenanigans. No one is slipping and cracking their head open here to say the least. 
> 
> I miss my terrible boys, so a toast to them!

It took a bit of trial and error to get it right. Jack at first thought it would be friggin hilarious and nearly choked on his soup one fine february afternoon.

But the idea of it all was pretty persistent and soon his automatic guffaw went where all thoughts inevitably do. It would be kinda hot to be squished between his twins, wouldn’t it?

…

“Koz, would you wash my hair?” Jack asked one evening while the pair of them were rested cozily on the couch. Pitch was upstairs in his office, as per usual.

“Hmm?” The older man asked, having not been paying attention to Jack to focus on the book in his lap.

Jack lowered his DS and looked up. “Wash my hair.”

“Mmmm, why?”

“Because it’d feel nice?”

“Alright then.” Koz replied and looked back to his book.

It was a minute or so later when he seemed to realize Jack had not gone back to his game but was still looking up at him. “Uh, now?”

“Well yeah?” Jack raised his eyebrows.

“Let me finish this chapter then.” Koz said and peacefully went back to reading. Jack went back to his game.

And it was all rather domestic of them. Until they got to the bathroom.

Jack was grinning. Phase one was so go.

“This is a bit odd, Jack, why exactly are you making me do this again?”

“Because all people in relationships do this. Because its intimate. Because we can be close to each other non-sexually and cultivate _us_ through mundane tasks and turn them into something special.”

Koz grinned and pushed his glasses up his nose. “What slop have you been reading this time? Did you get your grubby fingers on a Cosmopolitan?”

“Nah. It was a GQ mag, and stop being an old fart and get over here.” Jack said as he leaned over and turned the tap to start adjusting the water. He wiggled his still clothed ass to tempt his other third.

“I think you’re just trying to butter me up to give you a scalp massage.”

“Yessssss, that too.”

Koz laughed as he unbuttoned his shirt and flicked on the bathroom fan.

“I’ll indulge you if you wash my back then too. It’s terribly hard to reach since i’m so tall. I think you’d be the perfect size to get right…” Koz let his shirt fall to the floor and turned to try and reach between his shoulders. “...Ah-, there. Yes, right there.” He hummed as Jack’s cold fingers scratched pleasantly down his spine.

“Ass.” The young artist commented.

Koz simply laughed.

…

Muzzily, Jack agreed this was a grand idea as the steamy spray beat against his chest and Koz’ strong fingers lathered up his hair. He hummed and huffed in all the appropriate places.

Koz was on his page as well when Jack’s own nimble fingers smoothed his loofa down his back and quickly began to wander to more enticing regions of his lover’s body.

They both promised to turn this into a new regular routine when Jack’s knees were red from more reasons than just hot water.

He had to hang onto the rack to keep himself from slipping as Koz returned the favor with his hands, and shit. How could this ever be a bad idea when you didn’t have to clean fucking shit because all the sweat and come washed down the drain before you even realized that you fouled up the entire point of ‘getting clean’ with blowies and handies.

…  
  
Phase two was commenced a couple days later. Jack vaguely wondered why he turned all of his ideas into missions as he let himself into Pitch’s work office upstairs.

“Piiiiitch.”

The man didn’t answer. He was staring at his laptop like the screen sucked his soul from his eyeballs. It probably had. Again.

Jack snaked his hands over Pitch’s hunched shoulders.

“Piiitch.” He tried again. The man just grunted but he was entranced by the blinking cursor of his writing document.

Jack let his fingers slide up Pitch’s neck. He paused, Rubbed his thumbs into the corners of his jaw. Pitch shivered just a bit, blinked.

progress.

“Pitch, it’s time to stop for the night.” Jack tried.

“Pitch.”

He rubbed his fingers up and down the man’s scrawny throat. He could be here all night, and Jack figured that at some point Pitch wouldn’t even acknowledge that he stopped concentrating on his writing just to keep Jack at it.

So Jack did what he knew would guarantee him the attention he deserved.

He clamped his fingers down on his lover’s throat and yanked him back in his rolling chair by the neck.

Pitch squawked and his arms flew up, his legs kicked out, the desk thumped as his knees jerked against it and Jack laughed.

Sharp nails were in his wrists an instant later and an angry shout wheezed from an abused esophagus. “ _Jack!_ ”

Still laughing, Jack let pitch restrain his wrists in one large hand, painfully clutching them together as he spun in his chair to glare daggers. “What the fuck, Jack.”

“Ah. There you are.”

Pitch continued to glare.

“It’s time to finish up for the night, Pitch.”

“No. You interrupted me.”

“You weren’t doing anything.”

“I was writing!”

“On what? Where? Spewing words with your mind into the ethers doesn’t make a book, love.”

“Where’s Koz? Shouldn’t he be around to distract you? I’m busy and I can’t afford to play nanny for you because you have the attention span of a child.” He hissed.

Jack would be offended, maybe, if it weren’t sort of true, and if he weren’t expecting a reaction like this from the get-go.

“He’s a late lecture tonight, and i’m lonely, Pitch.” Jack said and pulled at his wrists a bit, he was starting to get pins and needles in his fingertips. “I’ve missed you, Pitch.”

At that, Pitch sputtered. Just a bit. His ire and self-righteous anger cracked in the face of Jack’s neediness. For him. Jack knew how much Pitch loved to be needed.

“And you’ve been working so hard all month on your draft and I just...I just thought, well.” Jack demurred, and fluttered his eyelashes, looked down, adopted an air of guilt and apology.

Pitch’s eyes grew round in response. He released Jack’s wrists momentarily before encircling one in each hand and and pulled Jack to stand between his knees.

Jack also knew Pitch couldn’t stand to disappoint him.

“What did you think, sweet?” Pitch asked and rubbed his thumbs against the insides of Jack’s wrists, coaxing the blood back to his cold extremities.

“But you’re busy, and I know you have a deadline.”

“Jack.”

 _Gotcha_.

He tried valiantly to keep the smirk from his lips, but Jack was never good at hiding his emotions. He was able to manage turning the smirk into a smile before answering. “I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“Like?”

Jack grabbed Pitch’s wrists now and gently pulled him from his chair. Pitch came willingly.

“It’s a surprise.”

“You made me a surprise?” Pitch asked, a look of restrained eagerness and wonder coming across his features as Jack lead him down the hall.

“Not quite.”

“Oh?”

“C’mere, Pitch.”

And Jack finally pulled him into the bathroom.

It was already steamy, and a few candles on the sink and soap ledges lit the room romantically.

Pitch stopped and looked entranced.

Jack laughed through his nose and thought _sap_ , but he couldn’t deny the charm of the cliche scene. Pitch was a dramatic sort of guy, this was right up his alley, even if the man would never admit upon pain of death that he adored such gestures.

The tub was filled and a light sheen of oil graced the water’s surface.

“Your shoulders must be so tense from hovering over that keyboard all day.” Jack said lowly as he drew Pitch in.

“They are…”

“And you know how dry your skin gets in winter when you don’t take care.”

“Yes.”

Jack’s fingers slid under the hem of Pitch’s henley and rubbed over his bony hips. “Let me take care of you, Pitch.”

It took a moment. Jack watched Pitch eyeball the bath, then look back towards the door, then down to him as he mentally tallied all the pros and cons of abandoning his work for the rest of the evening.

Jack smiled as he tilted his head down, gaze dropping to where his hands laid upon slim hips, and tilted the favor to his side as he slid his fingers down into the elastic of Pitch’s briefs.

“Oh alright.” Pitch dazedly huffed, “but only because it’s you, Jack.”

And with that, all of Pitch’s resistance and responsibility drained out his ears as Jack reduced his brain to mush via bathtub cuddles, oiled massage, and some oxford style fun.

…

“Aw c’mon, can’t we just try it?” Jack nearly begged as he bit a roasted carrot off his fork.

“I think it would be a bad idea…” Koz said from across the dinner table.

“Mmmm.” Pitch agreed with his brother though his mouth was full.

“We can make it work.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“But it’ll be fun.”

“What if something goes wrong?” Pitch finally asked.

“Then there will be two other people to help you!”

“No Jack. We’re not going bungee jumping and that’s final.” Koz said firmly.

“Booooring.” He huffed as he moodily poked at his dinner.

“Sorry, sweet, maybe we can indulge your love for extreme sports some other way.” Pitch tried after dinner as he cleared the dishes.

“Nah, it’s whatever. I can probably con Tooth into going."

Pitch grinned evilly “Oh please do, be sure to record it, I need some fresh blackmail material."

Jack grinned back as he helped koz put the leftovers away. “Sure thing, my king.”

Koz kept his opinions to himself, as was the wise things to do in these sorts of situations.

After all was put away, Jack spun to the staircase and stretched an arm over his head, twisting his back and popping his spine. “Let’s get a shower…”

“Ok-” “Alright.” both twins said together.

Jack grinned. “Oooooh. Yes. c’mon.”

“Er…” Koz mumbled and glanced to Pitch.

“Uh.” Pitch returned the look and looked back to Jack. “All of us?”

“Sounds perfect.” Jack husked as he turned back to his boyfriends and approached the pair.

“I don’t think we’ll fit?” Pitch tried.

Jack just looped his fingers into both of their belt loops and tugged them to the stairs. “We’ll fit. It’ll be cozy.”

“I don’t know, this sounds equally dangerous.”

Jack laughed. “As what? Bungee jumping?”

Koz scowled. “Yes.”

“Don’t be so stiff.” Jack reprimanded. “Or do. For me. Upstairs, in the shower.” He corrected.

Pitch laughed and gave in first as he pulled Jack’s hand from his belt to kiss his knuckles. “No oil tonight then, hm?”

“Oil?” Koz asked and looked between the pair.

“We can have lots of fun with oil too, Koz.” Jack replied when Pitch swept past him on the stairs.

The more responsible twin huffed and watched his brother go.

“Don’t let us have all the fun without you Koz.” Jack coaxed.

And he felt the moment Koz resigned himself to his fate as he pulled Jack in and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to make their way to the shower too.

“Fine, but if one of us ends up in the ER, Jack, you have to stay with him all night while the other goes home to get some well deserved sleep.”

“Deal.”

…

Jack giggled. He couldn’t help it! This was infact as hilarious of a situation as he initially thought.

First, Koz got in and helped them both into the shower as well. Unfortunately, Pitch went in next and was sandwiched between the other two.

It didn’t take long for him to start complaining about being squished and not being able to get his hands on both of them.

Jack also learned that he was definitely too short to reach Koz with Pitch in between, so he started the arduous task of switching positions with the writer.

He laughed the entire time.

Second, Koz had the unlucky spot to be as close to the shower head as possible and the spray pelted his scalp and while he was contentedly warmed down his back, both Jack and Pitch were shivering.

Pitch obviously made his feelings quite well known about that. So he took it upon himself to readjust the showerhead effectively squashing jack between them as his did so.

...

But, eventually, things seemed to work out.

Koz and Pitch washed each other’s hair, and Jack had the wondrous privilege of getting all four of their hands on his head for the trouble.

He hummed, delighted, as he leaned back against Koz’ solid front and looped his hands around Pitch’s middle.

“There. This is nice, right?”

Koz hummed and Pitch cupped Jack’s chin to tilt his head up. He got a watery kiss from the writer, which he returned gladly as he dug his fingers into the meat of Pitch’s ass.

“Very nice.”

Pitch grinned and pulled at Jack’s lip before letting go and standing up. “I’ve no complaints.”

Both Jack and Koz nearly slipped from the sudden laughter that shuddered through them.

Which Pitch put a prompt stop to by pressing his lips against Koz’, and wrapping his arms around his brother’s back, Caging Jack in.

Jack watched the twins above him as Koz let Pitch take control, pushing his tongue past his lips. Jack loved the ways Koz gently submitted to his brother in almost all things of this nature. The professor always had an air of authority in their public lives, he enjoyed giving it up in their private moments.

As they kissed, Jack felt Koz begin to grow hard against the small of his back. He lifted his knee and slid his leg between Pitch’s, pulling him closer with his grip on his ass. Pitch was responding in kind against Jack’s thigh.

In this way he coaxed the brothers further, encouraging Pitch to cant his hips against him with his hands and rubbing back against koz with his ass, having stood on his toes to get the necessary height to slot Koz’ cock into the crack of his ass.

What he didn’t anticipate were the large rough hands of Koz sliding over his ribs and down his stomach to find his equally hard yet neglected cock.

Jack gasped “Ah, Koz…” He muttered, as he drew one of his hands back between them to grab at his wrist.

He didn’t necessarily want to break their kiss, but speaking up did that anyways and before Jack knew it, a thick muscular thigh wedged between his legs and he was pushed back against the far wall against Pitch.

Grinning, Pitch slid his hands from his brother to hook under Jack’s armpits to help lift him up as Koz levered his foot on the edge of the tub effectively sitting Jack straddled on Koz’ thigh while Pitch loomed in front of him.

Koz steadied the trio with one hand gripping onto the washcloth rack behind Pitch, his other on Jack’s hip to keep him in place.

“Geez, Koz, what are you planning?”

“Your favorite, Jack,” he purred right in Jack’s ear as he leaned over him. “A bit of fun.”

“mmmhmm…” Pitch agreed as he straddled Koz’ thigh as well. He was, however, tall enough to keep both feet on the ground as he slid right up against Jack so Koz could grip both of their cocks with one hand.

“Jesus.” Jack gasped and contributed one of his hands to the task, encircling as much of himself and Pitch as he could with Koz’ help. His other hand was unfortunately occupied with gripping Koz other arm to keep balance.

Pitch had no problems leaning down to occupy Jack’s mouth, and Jack lost track of the last set of hands when Koz did a delightful little twist of his wrist against him.

Koz and Jack found rhythm together, sliding and gripping with the aid of the shower water.

And Jack soon learned where Pitch’s hands disappeared to as Koz groaned against his neck and began biting the tender skin heatedly.

“Yes. God, Koz do that again, what-” Jack gasped. Koz wasted no time in repeating the motion of his hand and guiding Jack’s fist to do the same. Jack moaned and bucked against the thigh between his legs. Koz’ leg hair was delightful friction against his balls and shit, he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“P-Pitch-” Jack moaned as he kissed down the other side of Jack’s neck.

“Yeah?” he asked as he bit at the skin.

Jack leaned back against koz and finally registered the movement of Pitch’s hands behind him, working his brother to similar end.

“Pitch.” Jack asked again, and without further pleading Jack was pulled forward. Both of his hands reached up to steady himself as his front was leaned against Pitch’s chest. All three of them were huffing messes at this point, But the gleam in Pitch’s eye that Jack caught was just what he wanted.

Spindly fingers gripped his hips, then his ass cheeks before dipping between them. Koz’ fist grew lazy on their pricks as he watched Pitch smooth the pads of his fingers over Jack’s hole.

“Yesss,” Jack hissed and rubbed himself on Koz’ thigh.

“Jack,” Koz said lowly.

“C’mon Koz.”

“I don’t want to fuck in the shower.”

Jack groaned “But why not? It’s so good…”

“No, it’s already precarious as it is.”

Jack whined petulantly and bit into the meat of Pitch’s pectoral which garnered him only the slightest twitch from the writer.

“Jack.” Pitch said breathily, he loved being bitten.

Koz rubbed a soothing palm up and down against his thigh. “Two options, alright?” Koz coaxed.

Jack just huffed and found a new spot on Pitch to bite. His fingers trembled on Jack’s ass and he huffed but didn’t speak up.

“One, we continue this in our bed, hm?” Jack groaned a spoiled negative.

“Two, we finish this like we are, I know you’re close.”

“Not for much longer Koz, c’mooooon.”

Koz rumbled a chuckle behind him. “Though, I fear if we dally much more the hot water is going to run out. “

“Noooo!” Jack wailed melodramatically and Pitch laughed as he kissed up the back of his neck. “Jack, let’s go to bed?”

“I don’t want to move-”

“If we go to bed now, we’ll have to clean with another shower later, you know.”

“Pitch…” Jack gasped, sitting up straight. “You’re a genius.”

Pitch beamed. “Obviously. My IQ is-”

Both Jack and Koz huffed out a “158! We know, Pitch.”

Pitch frowned ever so slightly, but Jack slid his hands down his chest and that seemed to nullify his petulance.

Koz meanwhile wrapped both arms around Jack’s middle and held him to his chest as he lowered his foot to stand properly while depositing Jack back on the ground.

“It’s decided, then,” Koz grinned and scrubbed a hand through Jack’s hair.

And it only took a beat before Jack shoved both of his lovers away from him before declaring “Race you to the bed!”

The twins barely even got an exasperated glance between them before Jack slid the shower door open and skidded across the bathroom stark naked and dripping, barely remembering to grab a towel on his way.


End file.
